Archive for July, 2007

And the meek shall inherit my wrath!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 4, 2007 by cerebralpunishment

It has come to my attention that there are two types of people in the world.  The first are those who share my sense of humor and have the ability to give verbal abuse just as good as they get it.  The second group are, well…..their sissies!!  If you received an email notice to check out this blog, there is a good chance you are in the first group.  If you just stumbled upon this by accident, you are part of the second group and, more than likely, you are going to be offended.

One of the greatest compliments I have ever received (by more than one person, no less) was based on my ability to insult people.  I found a way to do it without getting too personal, yet still cutting to the bone in such a way that no come back could match it.  I don’t remember ever doing it out of malice, but usually to lighten someone’s mood or, at times, someone would flat out challenge me to an “insult contest”.  As of this writing,  I am still the Undisputed  Insult Champion!!  There may have been some draws or disqualifications for outside interference….but I am yet to be verbally knocked out.

The problem, however, is this.  Apparently in 2007, you can’t insult people anymore.  People are now SENSITIVE and have, dare I say, FEELINGS.  I have never seen more people cry, pout, and threaten law suits over “something someone said”.  I want to take this moment to thank Oprah and Hilary Clinton and Dr. Fucking Phil for turning us into a nation of wimps.  I am sure that if this collective waste of oxygen had there way, we would all go to jail the minute we uttered a “Your momma is so_______” joke.  But really, when did we become so thin-skinned?  Did I miss a meeting?  Am I on the “He’s one of the people we are talking about” list and no one is telling me?  Give me a break!

I remember a time back in the mid 1970’s.  A little known comedic actor by the name of Dan Akroyd delivered a 4-word sentence that, by today’s standards would be considered tame, but at the time was shocking to say the least…..”Jane you ignorant slut”!  Not since “Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night” have such words been spoken on television.  Some people were outraged.  They couldn’t believe what they heard.  Why weren’t we more careful with what came out of the T.V. during prime time?  Here is the kicker though….it didn’t matter!  Everyday, in bars, mills, ball parks, police stations, military bases and countless other places, much worse could be heard.  But the majority of the people were not affected.  No therapy was needed nor lawsuits filed.  Today, you can turn on any given channel on any given night and hear, if not actually SEE things that are 1000 times worse.  Whether it is a thinly veiled sexual innuendo on “Three and a Half Men” or something blatant like “Desperate Housewives”, it blows away anything that may have been said in the 70’s.  But unlike the 70’s, everything now can be said on TV, but never in person…to each other…oh God no…that’s just wrong. 

 Here’s the bottom line.  I am tired of all the limp-wristed, thin-skinned, spineless, gutless, wacko, no-good, bottom feeding babies giving me a hard time because I just called them all those names.  I know we are in a different time now….and these times require us to be a lot tougher and just quit being pussies.  I guess I can wrap up this whole thing like this…if you don’t like what I just told you, well you can go Fu……….I mean, you are cordially invited to fornicate yourselves!  Sensitive enough for you?


Till next time, drinks are on me.