Archive for November, 2007

And now, here’s Brian with tonights’ sports stories.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 21, 2007 by cerebralpunishment

Yes it’s true; I do mention alot about sports in my rantings.  But this month in particular, there are a couple of stories that I just need to unload on.

-The Legal Hat Trick (Karma’s coming to get you, sucka).  Oh what a glorious month and how the mighty have fallen.   First, we have Michael “Con”- Vick, surrendering to the police early.  He said he knows he will be doing jail time, so he decided to turn himself early in to get a head start.  Ironically, when he was first brought up on charges, he stated in a press conference that he had “found Jesus” and was changing his lifestyle.  Most people don’t find Jesus until AFTER they are in prison a while…and usually Jesus is the Hispanic guy in the next cell.

-Then you have O. J. (apparently he thought O.J. meant “Outside Justice”) Simpson.  Did Karma come back and kick his ass or what?  Irony strikes yet again.   He won’t go to jail for killing anyone, but he will go to jail for robbery.  I think I speak for all of us when I say this waste of oxygen needs to do us all a favor and bite down on the business end of a .45.

-And finally, Barry (no funny nickname, I am just a dick) Bonds.  If lying under oath to a Grand Jury was like hitting home runs, then Bonds would already be in Cooperstown.  Federal prosecutors say Bonds lied 19 times under oath.  Pete Roses’ only crime was gambling and that kept him out of the Hall of Fame.  Hopefully the powers that be will see to it that Bond’s ends up with the same fate.

This second story is a little older, but I just had to comment on it.  Rutgers University played the Naval Academy on September 7th.  The Rutgers fans booed the visiting Mid-Shipman throughout the game, a concept that is quite the norm in a college football game.  Then, things got bad.  When a member of the Naval team was injured, the Rutgers fans CHEERED the fact he was hurt and cursed at him and the rest of the team as they left the field.  There is also a report that at some point during the game, certain sections of fans were shouting pro-Al Qaida and Taliban chants!  Can you believe this shit?  Sportsmanship be damned.  This is a SERVICE ACADEMY for Christ sake.  These young men will soon be trading in the football field for a battlefield and that is how they are treated.  And the kicker of it all, this is the same university that complained about what Don Imus said on a radio broadcast about the  (ahem) women’s’ basketball team.  Fuck Rutgers!  They do not deserve the peace of mind, nor protection from harm that the men from the Naval Academy will be providing for years to come.  Folks, keep this in mind when you decide to send your kids to college.

Whew, I am calm now.  I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and remember,…..if the Pilgrims would have shot a cat instead of a turkey, we would all be eating pussy on Thanksgiving.

Till next time, drinks on me



Random Rants of Ranting for November 1st

Posted in Uncategorized on November 1, 2007 by cerebralpunishment

-It’s November 1st and the World Series is over.  Congrats to the Boston Red Sox.  This of course meant the great Satan to the North (Your New York Yankees) have been defeated.  So it is true, money can’t buy you love….or a championship for that matter.

-I just realized that next year is my 20-year high school reunion.  More importantly, I found out I was right about something….I never did need algebra!!  I told my teacher that very thing everyday.  My F (both times I took the course) is now justified.  So a special note to my old algebra teacher….apparently,  X=lick my balls!

-This just in……the Yankees suck..ttthhheeeee Yankees suck!!

-Do you know a man with no arms and no legs can still hitchhike….he just has to be real excited about where he is going (a classic and I love it).

-Since moving to Tampa, Florida, I now realize that I should have invested in silicone and peroxide years ago.  I would be a rich man right now.

-Tampa is also the spring training home of the New York Yankees….did I mention they suck?

I think that is it for now.  This time, for sure, no lie, I promise, the next entry will not take this long to get posted.  Oh, and the Yankees suck!

Till next time, drinks are on me.