Archive for December, 2007

New Year Resolutions!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 31, 2007 by cerebralpunishment

Hello again everyone.  2007 is coming to a close, and it’s time to make all those resolutions that usually last about one week.  I figured I would share a few of mine…see if they match any of yours.

-I resolve to work less (at my day job, of course).

-I will step up my battle to eradicate Rap music.

-I will stop looking at women objectiveley and instead look at them as objects.  (If they continue to dress THAT way, I will look at them THAT way)

-While driving, if someone cuts me off, and they happen to be on a cell phone, I will follow them, pull them over, and beat them to death with said cell phone.

-If I am talking to someone, and they stop their conversation to “text” someone else on their cell phone…I will beat them with said cell phone.

-I will continue to carry grudges…just not maybe as long.

-I will drink less (I imagine that will be one that doesn’t last long, but I figured I had to put it on here anyway)

-I will continue to hate all sports teams north of Pennslyvania.

-I will point out to people who wear cell phone ear pieces that they are not that important (you getting the impression that I hate cell phones?)

-And finally, I will make it a point to get back home more often…PA Rules!!!!!

I hope you have a great 2008 and I look forward to hearing back from you all soon.

Till then, drinks are on me,

BL

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My Christmas Wish List

Posted in Uncategorized on December 21, 2007 by cerebralpunishment

Hello all and Merry Christmas.  I know everyone is busy with last minute shopping and holiday parties and I hope that is all working out well for you.  I, on the other hand have had my shopping done for weeks and have been focusing on the holiday parties.  I must say, it is weird to be in Tampa for Christmas.  I mean, I don’t like snow to begin with…but the fact that their isn’t even a CHANCE of snow makes for an odd Christmas.

The following is my Christmas wish list.  It is not just for me.  In the spirit of Holiday giving, I am asking for some special gifts for some other folks as well.  So here goes.  I wish……

-that people would go back to saying “Merry Christmas”.  Screw your “Happy Holidays” and “Holiday Season” bullshit.

-that karaoke, reality television and Rosie O’Donnell would finally just go away.

-for the people in Tampa to figure out what red lights are for.

-for input from all the folks who have seen my show so I can get that page updated on my website.

-the contract between the Devil and the New England Patriots would expire already.

-you would buy some Brian Lee merchandise.  T shirts, hats and mugs make excellent stocking stuffers.  (Cheap plug, I know..but come on, it’s Christmas)

-and finally, a safe and early return for Polly, Donna, the gang from Ft Jackson, and all our troops overseas…no matter how many muslims they have to waste along the way.

That’s it for now.  I wish you all the best over the holidays and look forward to hearing back from you. 

till then, drinks are on me,

BL