Archive for April, 2008

Fantasy Vs. Reality!

Posted in Uncategorized on April 16, 2008 by cerebralpunishment

“Chick Flick”!  What is it about those two words that scare’s the hell out of every self-respecting male?  Why would men rather be smacked in the scrotum with a wiffle ball bat then to have to sit through one of these 90-minute nightmares?  I think I may have finally figured it out.

See, the problem with chick flicks is this…..women think this shit could actually happen.  Apparently, in whatever world they are living in, they are convinced that some prince is going to show up on his white horse and whisk them away to a magical kingdom, shower them with riches and live happily ever after.  Ok, maybe that is a little extreme.  Maybe they are just convinced that the 6 foot 5, caring, monogamous, rich (can’t forget that one) underwear model will show up at the office and sweep her off her feet.  Yep, this guy never cheats, strays, burps, farts, gambles, watches sports or porn, drinks beer with his buddies, and “just loves her friends”.  Are we seeing the problem yet?

Now here is where the Fantasy Vs. Reality comes in to play.  Chick Flicks are just not realistic at all.  You want realistic…try an action or horror movie!

I can hear it now…”Brian, how can you say that and action/horror movie is more realistic than love story (chick flick)?”  The answer is real simple.  Which scenario is more likely to happen:

a) Brad Pitt/George Clooney/Matthew McConaughey/ etc. meets Miss Average Nobody (you) at some coffee house and after a series of coincidences and adventures, falls madly in love with you. OR

b) Miss Average Nobody (you, again) gets shot in the face by a terrorists or hacked to death by an axe murderer?

Hmmm….if you said Scenario B, congratulations.  If you said Scenario A, all I can say is I wish the best of luck to you, your 32 cats and the unicorn you ride into work on everyday.

Till next time….drinks are on me!