Fantasy Vs. Reality!

“Chick Flick”!  What is it about those two words that scare’s the hell out of every self-respecting male?  Why would men rather be smacked in the scrotum with a wiffle ball bat then to have to sit through one of these 90-minute nightmares?  I think I may have finally figured it out.

See, the problem with chick flicks is this…..women think this shit could actually happen.  Apparently, in whatever world they are living in, they are convinced that some prince is going to show up on his white horse and whisk them away to a magical kingdom, shower them with riches and live happily ever after.  Ok, maybe that is a little extreme.  Maybe they are just convinced that the 6 foot 5, caring, monogamous, rich (can’t forget that one) underwear model will show up at the office and sweep her off her feet.  Yep, this guy never cheats, strays, burps, farts, gambles, watches sports or porn, drinks beer with his buddies, and “just loves her friends”.  Are we seeing the problem yet?

Now here is where the Fantasy Vs. Reality comes in to play.  Chick Flicks are just not realistic at all.  You want realistic…try an action or horror movie!

I can hear it now…”Brian, how can you say that and action/horror movie is more realistic than love story (chick flick)?”  The answer is real simple.  Which scenario is more likely to happen:

a) Brad Pitt/George Clooney/Matthew McConaughey/ etc. meets Miss Average Nobody (you) at some coffee house and after a series of coincidences and adventures, falls madly in love with you. OR

b) Miss Average Nobody (you, again) gets shot in the face by a terrorists or hacked to death by an axe murderer?

Hmmm….if you said Scenario B, congratulations.  If you said Scenario A, all I can say is I wish the best of luck to you, your 32 cats and the unicorn you ride into work on everyday.

Till next time….drinks are on me!

BL

5 Responses to “Fantasy Vs. Reality!”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I vote for “C”. I, Miss Average Nobody, meets knight on proverbial white horse (we’ll say white Lamborghini in this case), at coffee house (in Shadyside of course). Knowing all to well something isn’t quite right, but blinded by his overly whitened, chemically bleached, teeth, continue this escapade. Said knight turns out to be a serial killer and I am found hacked to pieces in a dumpster in the Hill District.

    Great rant as always, thanks for the laugh.

    — Angela

    PS My 2 cats, dog and pink unicorn say hi 🙂

  2. Anonymous Says:

    HEY! Don’t knock our chick flicks! (:It is our equivalent of your porn! You don’t REALLY think those girl will do you for less than thier $20k paycheck just cuz they are horney, do you(:
    –debby

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Okay…I have to agree with Angela!! Completely!!! B, that is a smart chick ~ glad you brought up the subject though, now lets try to get the message out to all the other crazies that believe in Disney issued life!!!

    Luv when you get on that soapbox of yours (lol)
    DD

  4. Anonymous Says:

    I think that there are ” good men” who are not perfect but are honest, caring, and able to be trusted. Sometimes these opions are of someone who has these charactertics themselves!! There are people who can understand thier partners point of view and likewise. You should not be so close minded!!

  5. Anonymous Says:

    are you gonna watch a chick-flick if i want to??
    –amy

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