And then there’s THIS asshole!
In the past, George Carlin did routines based on “people I could do without”. I always thought this was some of his most brilliant work. In tribute to George, here is MY list of people I can do without:
– People who treat animals better than they do other people.
– For that matter, people who treat animals as if they WERE people. You know, those jerk offs who put dogs in sweaters and carry them around in purses. These are the same idiots who are just asking to be in a car accident by letting the little monsters sit on there laps while they are driving.
– Guys that retire from the military who just WON’T LET IT GO! Now before you say anything, I am not bashing veterans. Just the ones who decide they need to spend their retired years living next to military bases and pretending they are still in. Hey John Wayne, the military survived all those years before you enlisted…I think they will do ok now.
– Environmentalists. Want the real reason why gas prices are so high? Ask these mother fuckers!
– People that feel the need to let me hear their radio….4 car lengths away. I can’t wait for the day that you are playing your radio so loud that you don’t hear that tractor trailer bearing down on you ass and crushes your “speaker on wheel” into the side of a bridge!
– Guys who call soccer, “football”. Listen, jackass, we won the war, we can call it whatever we want! Besides, it’s not really a sport anyway. It’s a game played in third world countries by people that can’t afford REAL sports equipment.
– Women who “have more guy friends than girl friends”. Boy am I tired of hearing this one. You can try and justify it any way you want, but we have names for people like you…..Whores!
– And finally, people who have to make there schedule around reality TV. “Oh, I can’t go out tonight, the first round of ‘American Idol’ is on.” By all means, please keep your untalented, no-life having, boring ass at home….the world is a better place without you.
If I havn’t offended someone today, I will be surprised. Rest assured, there will be more added to this list shortly. I am looking forward to your responses. Feel free to add to the list via your comments as well….would love to hear who you think I should have on the list.
Till next time…..drinks are on me,
BL
(Special note: I borrowed the title from Penn and Teller, and of course, the idea for the Rant from George Carlin. Robin Williams and Dennis Leary, take note…at least I gave the originator credit).
July 1, 2008 at 10:06 am
Wow!!! Who pissed in your wheaties????? Easy there Mister. I don’t dress up my dog, but I definitely like him more than I like a lot of people. (ie – have you met my co-workers?)
–Lisa
August 24, 2008 at 6:35 am
Whoa – you got me with that one! All my best friends are dudes!! And I don’t sleep with any of them ~ so ‘whore’ huh? OUCH…
Donna
–Donna