Random Rants for July 2008

Hello again, everyone.  Looks like most of you survived my last Rant (with the exception of one person), so it’s time for another round of Random Rants.

-It was recently brought to my attention that I pick on Philadelphia way too much.  As a matter of fact, I was told by some of my Philly friends that I need to apologize.  So here goes……I am sorry……that you have to live in Philadelphia.  There…better now?

– Excerpt from a recently overheard conversation:

Devil:  Alright, here’s the deal.  If I let you win this ONE tournament, you take the rest of the year off…and, being that I already own YOUR soul, I get the soul of your first born.

Tiger Woods:  Where do I sign?

– And speaking of the Devil, congratulations to the Pittsburgh Penguins for signing a contract with Satan.  It’s true.  I guess they decided if you can’t beat ’em (Patriots, Tiger, Red Wings, etc), might as well join ’em.  What was that?  Oh, it’s just some guy named Satan…not the real Satan.  I guess that explains why it was only a one year contract.

– The only difference between Mexico and Maryland is that it doesn’t rain this much in Mexico……and the service is better in Mexico.

– Fuck Wal-Mart.

– I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

– I thought I might have been a little rough on ESPN a couple of Rants ago, so I decided to give them another chance.  I turned it on one night and I must say I was shocked and pleasantly surprised.  They were covering the closing ceremonies of the Special Olympics.  There was a bunch of guys running around hugging everyone, with their hats all crooked, and they were having trouble speaking correctly….kinda just yelling and spouting gibberish.  That’s when I realized I was watching the post game celebration of the NBA finals.  Eerily similar.

Thanks for checking in.  As always, I look forward to your comments….just don’t be afraid to put your name on it.  What’s the worse that can happen?

Till next time…..drinks are on me,

BL