The Lee-Tarded World of Sports.

Let’s go to Brian Lee at the Lee-tarded sports desk(aka, bar) and see what’s happening in the world of sports.

– Rumor has it that Home Run King Barry Bonds may be signing with the New York Yankees.  This makes perfect sense for Major League Baseball.  Let’s keep all the liars, cheaters, steroid abusers, and adulterers on ONE team.  We can keep a better eye on them if they were all together and not spread out around the country.  On a side note, Yankee pin stripes do kind of resemble prison pin stripes.

– I wonder what that Bret Favre fellow is up to now that he retired.  I know, let’s turn on EVERY channel and find out!  Favre, for the love of God, shut the fuck up and go away!  This guy flip-flops more than John Kerry.  Personally, I hope he does get back into the league…….just so some 300 pound defensive tackle can smash the annoying country bumpkin right in the face and send him into retirement properly.

– Anyone catch the Arena Football League championship?  Me neither.  I hear, though, that Philadelphia FINALLY found a sport they can win at…. it just happens to be a sport that is one step below lacrosse and two steps above competitive chess.

– Want a reason to watch women’s golf?  I will give you three.  Natalie Gulbis, Cristie Kerr and Carin Koch.  I can’t care about their swings (or which way they swing, for that matter), but they are real easy on the eyes.  Female tennis players look out, you now have competition.

– This just in, Julio Castillo was released from jail on $30,000 bond after he assaulted a fan in a minor league game last week.  During a bench clearing brawl, Castillo threw a ball into the opposing team’s dugout.  The ball instead went into the bleachers and struck a fan.  Upon his release from jail, Castillo was immediately offered a contract with the New York Yankees. (That’s known as a “call back” joke, people)

– And finally, Major League Baseball is starting a new program in some of their ball parks.  They are now advertising “Peanut Free” sections.  How can they do this?  They mention peanuts in “Take me out to the ball game” for Christs’ sake. What’s next, they gonna take beer out of the stadiums as well?  The Pittsburgh Pirates have decided to take this initiative one step further.  They are starting a “Talent Free” area for fans to sit.  They are going to call it “PNC Park”.

Enjoy the game, folks.
Till next time……drinks are on me,


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