Random Rants for August 2008

Hello again, everyone.  Time for another round of Random Rants.

– After living in Southern Maryland, I now understand why it’s the small towns that produce so many serial killers.

– I finally got to see the new Batman movie, but before I saw it, some jerk had already ruined it for me and gave away the most important part.  Did you know, that Batman is really Bruce Wayne.  Yeah, me neither…sorry if I ruined it for you.  On another note, The Joker was awesome!  Whoever played that role has some career ahead of him.  What?  Still too soon for Heath Ledger jokes?  Screw it, here’s another.

– Stories are still going around that portraying The Joker possibly played a role in Heath Ledger’s death.  Rumor has it, the preparation he did to get into character had left such dark and sinister psychological scars on him that it may have contributed to his “accidental suicide”.  Hmmm, you would think being ass-jacked by a gay cowboy on the big screen would leave a far worse impression on someone.

– I use to complain about not having shoes until I met a man who had no feet…..so I took his shoes…..after all, what does he need them for?

– Has anyone else had enough of Kenny Chesney?  Ok, first we had to listen to his pseudo-country music, which was bad enough.  But now he is calling his new concert series the “Poets and Pirates Tour”?  Let’s get this straight….you are not now nor will you ever be Jimmy Buffett…so quit trying.  Just go the fuck away, already!

– Ultimate Fighting champ Tito Ortiz and former porn star Jenna Jameson are going to have a child together.  This is VERY disturbing.  However, I would love to be in that class room the first time the teacher asks the students what their parents do for a living.  “Uh, my parents both take shots to the face…..if you know what I mean”.

– I don’t like it when people collect Beanie Babies and keep them in cases around their houses.  Free-range Beanie Babies taste much better.

– And finally…..at the end of the day…isn’t it really just all about cookies and blowjobs?

Till next time….drinks are on me,


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