Archive for May, 2009

Random Rants for May 2009

Posted in Uncategorized on May 4, 2009 by cerebralpunishment

Time for another long overdue round of Random Rants.  I’ts been a while since I did some rants…so I wrote a little more than usual.  Hope you enjoy!

– Recently I was asked to go see the new Seth Rogen movie.  Against my better judgment, I went…..and I am JUSTIFIED!  In this movie, Rogen proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is indeed an unfunny “one trick pony”.  The highlight of the movie was when the friend who invited me leaned over about 20 minutes in and said “I am SOOO sorry about this”.

– Woo Hoo…another Cinco de Mayo!  Isn’t it ironic that most of the “gringos” who go out and celebrate this are the same people who bitch about the “illegal aliens”?  Most people don’t even know what the “holiday” represents.  For all they know, Cinco de Mayo translates to “Cheap Coronas”.  In actuality, Cino de Mayo commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely defeat of the French at the Battle of Puebla.  Come on…the French?  If we were to have a celebration for every time the French got beat….we would be drunk EVERYDAY.

– Strange, but I feel like I wrote this before.

– Speaking of politics (was I?)…fuck you Arlen Specter…nice move jumping ship to try and save your job.  But that is not really a bad thing.  See, if the Left get total control of the House AND the Senate….America has no one else to blame when shit gets fucked up.  Mission Accomplished.

– How about this…instead of Cinco de Mayo, why don’t we celebrate something important this month?  How about making the same big deal on…I don’t know..Mother’s Day? 

– Reason to hate Southern Maryland #127:  Movie theaters and movie theater patrons.  It absolutely sucks being a movie junkie here in Southern Maryland.  I cannot believe the shit I see when I go to the movie theater near my house.  Most recently, I got to see two candidates for “Mother of the Year” bring their 1 year old kids to see a rated-R horror movie.  Just because you are too cheap to get a babysitter, I have to listen to your kid WAIL in this enclosed room while I am trying to watch a flick.  Good job in considering every one else who paid $12 to see this flick.  Where are Child Youth Services when you need them?

– I will do you one better.  How about Memorial Day?  Now THAT is a day that needs celebrated…and celebrated properly.  Remeber, it’s more than just a “day off”….remember WHY you have that day off.  Get out, support your Veteran’s, and be glad you live in the GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!…until the Left fuck it up, that is.

– Strange, but I feel like I wrote this before.

– Barry Melrose picked the Philadelphia Flyers to beat the Pittsburgh Penguins in 6 games in the opening round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  Hmmm, guess that didn’t happen.  You know what Barry…if you knew anything about hockey you might still be coaching instead of getting your ass fired after 10 games.  He has gone on to pick the Washington Crap-itals to beat the Pens in 7.  Thanks again…that’s a lock for the Pens to make the finals.  Oh, and Philly fans you are welcome.  I didn’t rub it in like I did last year.  You can put your “thank yous” and congratulations in the comment box below.

– Finally, Jay Mohr.  Normally, I put this guy in same category that I put Nicholas Cage, Seth Rogen, and Robin Williams. However,  today, I gained a little respect for him.  I heard him on a radio show talking about his stand up routine.  All I can say, is “Bravo, Jay”.  Finally, a comedian who will fight the “norm” and say whatever he wants on the stage and not worry about the criticism that may come with it.  Way to beat the stereotype, Mr. Mohr.

That’s it for now.  Looking forward to seeing you all at the show on the 30th.

Till next time…..drinks are on me,

BL

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