Archive for December, 2010

2010 Christmas Wish List

Posted in Uncategorized on December 21, 2010 by cerebralpunishment

Hello again, everyone. Over the past couple of years, I have given my Christmas wish list to Santa in hoping that he would come through for me. He came through on some (See ya, Nancy Pelosi!), he reneged on others (like that deal between the Devil and the New England Patriots!), and flat out blew me off on some (still waiting on Jon Stewart’s “redistribution of wealth”). Ok, I know it’s a little late, but since I have been a VERY good boy this year, I am here to submit my 2010 Christmas wish list:

– Since I can’t beat it, I might as well join it. I want my own Reality TV show. I just need to figure out what the “hook” will be.

– For all people that have children, I want them to have kids like my good friends Mike and Missy. Whatever you are doing to make those kids so well-behaved, you should bottle it and sell it! I know a TON of potential customers!

– How about that 3-way with me, Milla Jovovich, and that waitress from The Cracker Barrel? Can we make that happen, already?

– An “audience” that doesn’t think they are watching my stage show in their living room. (Unless, I can get that Reality TV show that I previously asked for).

– A Famine of Biblical proportions for everyone who owns property on “Farmville”.

– And finally, another Stanley Cup for the Pittsburgh Penguins. (I shouldn’t have to ask for this…we all KNOW it’s going to happen…Suck on that, Capital fans!)

So, that’s my wish list. Let me know what you think and feel free to add to it. Can’t wait to hear from you. Merry Christmas, everybody.

Till next time….drinks are on me,